::Tuesday, November 15, 2005::
She was a woman of untapped strenght. She had no idea of her own potential. She would languish in front of the television instead of tyring to find out just what that potential might entail on the off chance that it wouldn’t entail very much. She would begin to do things, things she felt inspired to do, but then seeing them manifest themselves would frighten her and hse would grow dissatisfied and stop. And so she would sit in her room or in her head and she would tune out. She would sink into something that did not remind her of who shw was and how she felt she was a failure. She would watch TV and think, I watch way to much TV. She would read and read and think, boy I think a lot of things and maybe I should get them out and share them and then she wouldn’t. Most bigthings she wouldn’t do until she was absolutely sure it was the right time to do them (meaning, last chance) and that she was going to be able to do them easily. And well. And without drawing attention to herself.
This story won’t start with something in her life changing, though that is a good place for a story to start. Instead, it will start with something that was so characteristically her that if you knew her it wouldn’t be worth mentioning. This day was a windy one, and her house at the end of her wide street bore the brunt of it. Windy days always made her weird. This day she was only weird in how she felt, and nothing more manifest than that. Feeling weird did not make her cancel her plans, they only made her want to cancel her plans and throw things, preferably things that would break. Her mother never notived when she was feeling weird.
“Where are you going?” her mother asked.
“To see Brigit, remember?” she replied.
“Oh right, that’s today”
“Yeah.”
“Ok, well I have that meeting with the staff tonight so I won’t be back till late, make you sure you eat something and don’t forget to let the cat out when you get home, unless its too late cuase you remember……” (here is where she stopped listening).
After the stream had ended she said “OKay mom” Then left because a blue car had pulled into the driveway.
She didn’t really now the man in the car, but the man new Brigid too so he must be ok. Brigid didn’t suffer people who weren’t completely ok. Normally you might think that getting into a car with a man she didn’t really know would be an uncharacteristic thing for her to do but you see she often got rides with people when she crashed her car so really it wasn’t anything worth remarking over. Besides, he kind of looked like her old friend Stewart.
The wind was so strong that the she had to really yank that car door open and this made her out of breath. So instead of saying hi like a proper person she ended up saying “H-h-h-h “ and then panting for awhile. This put her in a bad mood and was not a good start for the trip.
The drive was supposed to take an hour. She and the man left at 10:30. At 11 the car broke down on the highway. She was used to cars breaking down because as I said before she wasn’t very nice to them, but she refrained from kicking or punching it because as I said she didn’t really knoew this guy very well. Luckily she spotted a narrow road that looked like a driveway so she figured she would just go to a house and call someone to come get them. But there are many narrow roads in Manitoba that look like driveways but are in fact just narrow roads that lead off in one straight direction without getting anyplace for awhile. So she and the man walked for a long time, until at the peak of sweltering heat the road passed in front of a little yard at the other side of which was a little cottage which had lots of big plants growing all over it. There was a woman out front digging in the plants, presumably to make them grow faster, who stood up when she heard them coming. She was not quiet when she was upset, so the woman heard from quite far away and had been standing for awhile by the time she reached the gate to the garden. She decided to speak, because the man didn’t seem to be nearly bothered enough by all this.
"Can we use your phone?" She asked.
"I don't have a phone," said the woman. The wind ripped through the trees.
"Do... you know where there is a phone?" She asked.
"Yes I do and I will take you there myself." The woman smiled, but she barely managed to smile back. "What don't you come inside while I get ready." So she and the man did.
This story won’t start with something in her life changing, though that is a good place for a story to start. Instead, it will start with something that was so characteristically her that if you knew her it wouldn’t be worth mentioning. This day was a windy one, and her house at the end of her wide street bore the brunt of it. Windy days always made her weird. This day she was only weird in how she felt, and nothing more manifest than that. Feeling weird did not make her cancel her plans, they only made her want to cancel her plans and throw things, preferably things that would break. Her mother never notived when she was feeling weird.
“Where are you going?” her mother asked.
“To see Brigit, remember?” she replied.
“Oh right, that’s today”
“Yeah.”
“Ok, well I have that meeting with the staff tonight so I won’t be back till late, make you sure you eat something and don’t forget to let the cat out when you get home, unless its too late cuase you remember……” (here is where she stopped listening).
After the stream had ended she said “OKay mom” Then left because a blue car had pulled into the driveway.
She didn’t really now the man in the car, but the man new Brigid too so he must be ok. Brigid didn’t suffer people who weren’t completely ok. Normally you might think that getting into a car with a man she didn’t really know would be an uncharacteristic thing for her to do but you see she often got rides with people when she crashed her car so really it wasn’t anything worth remarking over. Besides, he kind of looked like her old friend Stewart.
The wind was so strong that the she had to really yank that car door open and this made her out of breath. So instead of saying hi like a proper person she ended up saying “H-h-h-h “ and then panting for awhile. This put her in a bad mood and was not a good start for the trip.
The drive was supposed to take an hour. She and the man left at 10:30. At 11 the car broke down on the highway. She was used to cars breaking down because as I said before she wasn’t very nice to them, but she refrained from kicking or punching it because as I said she didn’t really knoew this guy very well. Luckily she spotted a narrow road that looked like a driveway so she figured she would just go to a house and call someone to come get them. But there are many narrow roads in Manitoba that look like driveways but are in fact just narrow roads that lead off in one straight direction without getting anyplace for awhile. So she and the man walked for a long time, until at the peak of sweltering heat the road passed in front of a little yard at the other side of which was a little cottage which had lots of big plants growing all over it. There was a woman out front digging in the plants, presumably to make them grow faster, who stood up when she heard them coming. She was not quiet when she was upset, so the woman heard from quite far away and had been standing for awhile by the time she reached the gate to the garden. She decided to speak, because the man didn’t seem to be nearly bothered enough by all this.
"Can we use your phone?" She asked.
"I don't have a phone," said the woman. The wind ripped through the trees.
"Do... you know where there is a phone?" She asked.
"Yes I do and I will take you there myself." The woman smiled, but she barely managed to smile back. "What don't you come inside while I get ready." So she and the man did.
I need to write and so I will. This is where I will do it. Brace yourself.
::Sunday, April 10, 2005::
Since Erica has yet to do it, and since I still have authorship abilities around here, let me tell you that, sadly, this blog has passed away. However, that is not the end of Erica- She has just wandered over to the comforts of Live Journal, which can be found here.
As for myself, should you so care, the insanity threatens to continue forever more over here.
Ciao.
As for myself, should you so care, the insanity threatens to continue forever more over here.
Ciao.
::Sunday, April 03, 2005::
Surely i should get a sign right about now... slowly i’ve been learning trying to piece together my place in the universe
so many people get the call or a visit or a presence in their lives ... i get told what to not do but when i really need it when my mind is open to the powers that be where are they
must i call them by name?
I study and i search for it but all that i’ve learned is that its either out there or its in here
but how do i find it either way?
jung would know but he is dead
and everyone is afraid of jung
everyone laughs
no one feels the gap
except me
but what do i get for my perceptiveness?
A small dark room
and the tv’s on
cause otherwise im alone
no presence in my mind
no guide to guide
just my mind... achingly empty
the excruciating dark
so many people get the call or a visit or a presence in their lives ... i get told what to not do but when i really need it when my mind is open to the powers that be where are they
must i call them by name?
I study and i search for it but all that i’ve learned is that its either out there or its in here
but how do i find it either way?
jung would know but he is dead
and everyone is afraid of jung
everyone laughs
no one feels the gap
except me
but what do i get for my perceptiveness?
A small dark room
and the tv’s on
cause otherwise im alone
no presence in my mind
no guide to guide
just my mind... achingly empty
the excruciating dark
::Friday, February 18, 2005::
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENT!!! I bought you presents! When are you going to come pick them up? If I dont see you in 48 hours I get to keep them for myself... and they rule!
On a side note, I think I'm going crazy... but in a completely wonderful way. Three nights in the last week I have stayed out later than 4:30. I rule. Its like I'm some kind of hot young partier. So good for me.
And the Gods bless us, everyone.
Love, Erica.
On a side note, I think I'm going crazy... but in a completely wonderful way. Three nights in the last week I have stayed out later than 4:30. I rule. Its like I'm some kind of hot young partier. So good for me.
And the Gods bless us, everyone.
Love, Erica.
::Wednesday, January 05, 2005::
So I guess a lot has happened lately. The most important thing, though, happened today. There's no way I could begin to put it in my own words so I refer to Brent, whose words made me cry... again. Thanks Brent, I love you.
::Thursday, November 25, 2004::
I still have an hour and forty-five minutes till class starts. Think of how much work I could get done in that time! I could start writing my paper on this very computer! I could do all the reading that I am behind on....
I think I'll have a nap.
love,
shmerica
I think I'll have a nap.
love,
shmerica
Okay so I would like to point out how uncool that comment by 'Annonymous' was. Not only did it complement my arch nemesis Erinn but it also reminded me of homework, accused me of skipping school (when in reality I was sick as a dog -- AS A DOG) and tried to rope me into giving up my sunday at home alone watching Desperate Housewives. What kind of a person leaves a comment like that?? I think we all know what kind...
In other news a girl in my Wednesday night seminar class with the bitchy big man prof if she could get an extension on our paper due next wednesday, thinking like till friday. So he gave us until the 15th. Sweet. (And I hate it when people say 'sweet'... but man is that sweet or is that sweet?)
All my love,
Shmerica
In other news a girl in my Wednesday night seminar class with the bitchy big man prof if she could get an extension on our paper due next wednesday, thinking like till friday. So he gave us until the 15th. Sweet. (And I hate it when people say 'sweet'... but man is that sweet or is that sweet?)
All my love,
Shmerica
::Friday, November 19, 2004::
I just turned on the comment function so people better comment. For everytime you do not comment, I will kill you.
Love, shmerica.
Oh yeah, and I had to copy Erinn cause she's just so cool:
Love, shmerica.
Oh yeah, and I had to copy Erinn cause she's just so cool:
| You are 87% Virgo
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